When I finally got to him, I felt this amazing feeling. My stomach was rollercoastering and I was overwhelmed with desire for him. I wanted to touch him, kiss him, and smell his sweet neck. For that made me feel like I was alive again. I had spent the week end at his place, away from the city, away from every bothering thing that could come across my path. It was an amazing week end, an amazing night too. As I reached under the sheets that night I could tell I was no longer myself, I was back at my basic instincts, those of an animal. I needed to have him, and him to have me. I wasn't disappointed; it was a mixture of tenderness, passion, savagery and deep connection. I was impressed by him, and by me. Everything seemed to be balanced, just in the right way, everything tasted sweet. I didn't feel guilty at all, and that struck me. Then again, moral would have told me it was wrong. But I didn't even ask myself the question. It was so obvious, it just felt right. For once in a long time, I didn't feel like a mess. And that was worth it. No matter what. It was my way of living the life I had chosen. I had time to see where it would go. There was no rush.
We sat upstairs, with the implicit blessing of the waitress, and we kissed. He was so cute, with his deep blue eyes and short beard. Once more this feeling was there, the stomach in the rollercoaster, the butterflies in the belly. His lips on my lips, his tongue getting to know my very own. There was no need to actually talk, our bodies was talking for us. I could tell he was excited too. And it was nice.
We left and head towards his school, on the most perfect spot. Nearby the river, a huge ancient looking building daring the sun. As I entered I could hear the music and the footsteps of the dancers. It felt good, bright. I began studying those people that interested me so much, I was stunned by their technique, what they could achieve and how they seem so passionate about what they were doing. It made me think about mountain climbers. I don't know why. He then left me to get ready to his rehearsal. My heart just speeded up. It was now. I'd finally see what I could just imagine at the moment. And there he was. Actually there they were. Twelve good looking dancers. Bodies like you could only dream of. Every muscle meticulously and sharply defined. It was a nice sight to behold, but I didn't care. From the moment they started, I could only see him. Everything seemed blurry beside him. He was the only thing I could watch. He owned the room.
His face was lit with both passion and concentration. His features were amazing. Not yet those of a man but not longer a child's. He was in between, floating. I wonder how he felt at this very moment, knowing that I was watching him. Where our eyes crossed I knew that, in some way, he was confident. And he had all rights to be. He was amazing, perfect. And I was bewitched. I couldn't let my eyes away from his body, from all his muscles stretched. He was so supple and graceful. He seemed out of himself, in some kind of trance. And I only began to get what he meant when he talked to me about how he felt when he danced. I was speechless contemplating his true force. It was as if I was discovering his body again. Of course, I had seen it before, touched it, and licked it. But it was so different. I don't know how to explain that but I felt like I needed to have it. Right here and now. I wanted him so badly. I felt the same way I had felt the first night we slept together. It was like seeing him dancing like that made me approach things differently. And that's what I liked about Benjamin. He was a treasure. And I, only I, knew it at that very moment. Things had changed, and it was for the best.